* First trip to the Ashram

Today has been quite a day.  Up early.  To J & M's for a beautiful breakfast (another story in itself).  Then off on our adventure, our exploration.  Or is it an archeological dig into our souls.  "The Ashram", "Yasodhara".  YIKES.  We spent most of the day in semi hysteria - sometimes full blown, muddling through the cobwebs of our lives.  Sometimes wiping our eyes of tears of sadness and sometimes sheer maddness.  Ah yes, the Mad Hatters.  We are both a little mad on our own, but together ... well - if only we could find Alice - missing in action!

Beautiful trip along the lake,  I had forgotten the beauty of this patch of Divine Mother's garden.

Closer and closer!  Finally I broke the ice.  "I'm scared J, I screamed!"  "I'm glad you said that.", she replied.

And so we came to the Ashram.  Hysterical, and afraid of everying, especially the unknown.  We were not encouraged when taken to our rooms.  It brought back so many memories of boarding school.  Rules taped on the mirrors stating, no candles, no insense.  I felt the rebel in me rising.

J's room was dirty, at least the energy was.  She moved in with me and will most surely suffocate from the pillow she holds over her head to prevent the noise of my snoring from driving her completely off the deep end.  Oh well, I warned her to bring industrial earplugs.  Not my stuff.  lol

We're feeling somewhat more settled tonight after having a tour of the buildings and grounds.  We've been fed a wonderful fresh vegetarian dinner. After that, satsang and chanting in the temple.  We now feel very safe and protected and possibilities abound at the probability of becoming Holy Mothers.

It is quiet now.  10:15.  Night has fallen over the lake and mountains.  It is time to put our heads on our own pillows which we hauled all the way from our homes like security blankets.  The truth is, J DID bring her security blanket.

We now know it is our time.  Our Divine Appointment.  Our time to let go of the old.  Bless it and let it.  Find the new.  Venture forth into the unknown.  Welcome and embrace it.  AND ... the minute we get home ... call our beloved therapist!

June 6, 2004