Two Important Men

Ivan Padjen, Toller Cranston, donna Parker

This appeared in 'The Atencion' newspaper in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
  
Two important men

By Donna Parker

There are two important men in my life. One is Toller Cranston, who shares with me his knowledge, wisdom and incredible expertise of the painting world. However, this is not about Toller (shock and awe)! This is about a man named Ivan Padjen who hails from Chicago.

I fell in love with him the first day we met when I asked if he was a Buddhist. Not a sensual kind of love. It was a soulful love, which worked its way to the depths of my being. I knew we had met for purposes yet unknown.

Since then I have learned much from Ivan. I have come to know, respect and honor a very old soul upon this earth who possesses and shares the great wisdom he holds within.

The first time he saw my art he was deeply moved. I knew he valued my creativity more than I ever could at the time. Now I have come to cherish my own work, to have a deep knowing that I have found my life’s work, my purpose, and my way to give back the gifts I have been given.

During this trip to San Miguel, Ivan felt compelled to purchase 10 of my paintings. It shocked me. It stunned me. “Donna’s art represents the ages,” commented Ivan. “It makes me think, reflect, and allows the soul to smile. My spirit always feels refreshed after spending time with her works of art.”

Finally I was filled by an overwhelming gratefulness. The purchase was not about money. It was about the gift of learning that my work was appreciated and receiving the gift with grace and the love with which it was given. Ivan Padjen, has, over the time I have known him, changed my life. It’s important that you know, so too has Toller Cranston. I am a better person for having both these men in my life.

Donna Parker’s paintings were featured as part of the recent “Art and Influence” exhibit at the Toller Cranston Gallery. Parker also had a solo exhibition at Galeria Izamal, where a variety of her paintings are now on permanent display.



 

A Few Memories of Toller

It took me a long time. Every time we met, I would lose my nerve. One day, however, we bumped into each other at the nursery and had a long chat.  He had already turned to walk away when it happened …. “Toller, I’d love you to see my work.”  Toller kept walking …. “Come for breakfast tomorrow, bring two pieces.”  Stunned, I managed to sputter “What time?”.  Nine o’clock came the answer as he moved further away. 

I arrived the next day dressed to the nines with two pieces of art under my arm.  As I walked into the dining area, I heard “Now that’s the way an artist should dress!”.  It was Toller.  I smiled.  I was the only one at breakfast that morning.  He looked at my work. He bought both pieces and invited me to paint with him for seven days.  I jumped at the chance, my heart pounding, my demeanor cool and calm, although I thought I would surely faint.

At the end of seven days, I prepared to leave.  At breakfast that morning, I brought flowers for the staff who had fed and cared for me as well as roses for Toller.  “What’s all this about? … Toller looked straight at me.  “My seven days is up!  I won’t be here tomorrow and I’m so grateful for all you have done.”  He pulled my chair towards his and looked me straight in the eye.  “Now see here”, he began.  You are staying for three reasons.  1. You know what you are doing.  2.  I don’t have to teach you. and 3. You don’t bug me.”  He became my patron, and owned four of my paintings. 

That’s how it began.  A relationship of two very short years for which I am very grateful.  We painted together in his studio almost every day, sometimes chatting, sometimes quite, each of us in our own world, and always, always listening to beautiful music.

Toller was the best friend I had in San Miguel.  I’m sure many people feel the same way.  He had the magical knack of giving a person exactly what they needed and in return had a gift for extracting what he required from them.  It was a mutual admiration society.

Breakfasts were a daily ritual before we went to the studio.  I never knew who I might meet or be sitting beside, a poet, a skater, a diplomat, an ex ambassador, an art historian, a fine musician, a world traveller, or just an ordinary person who loved and adored Tollers art.
   
Toller was my dearest friend, mentor, confidant, my inspiration, my encouragement, my oak tree. We had a strong spiritual connection which I shall miss terribly. He was very physic as am I.  He felt my abilities were underdeveloped and told me “You are a little demi-witch who needs more practice!”  I roared with laughter. 

A few days before Toller passed away, I once again sat at his breakfast table, enjoying the company and the ambiance of my surroundings.   We had been working on a painting together.  It was sort of a joke between us.  That morning he announced he had finished the painting, had it framed and it was my Christmas present.  He left the room to retrieve it.  As he presented it to me, my instructions were to sign it as well.  “This is not your painting, nor is it mine - it’s a hybrid.  It’s ours.”  I have a treasure and so many memories. 

Never to be forgotten, larger than life, he knew exactly who he was and lived every minute to the fullest. He loved life. He adored the new 'blue green' pallet he was working with - he wanted to try something new - something where he didn't use his beloved 'red'. He loved a challenge. The new series is incredible.

One of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life is say goodbye to Toller. We had a strong spiritual bond. I miss that terribly.  We shall see each other again one day, Toller -- have your paint brush ready! In the meantime, I will be hearing your voice as I paint. I will be listening to the music we listened to  in the studio. I will see you walking into the studio with paint on your pants and arms, carrying a 'little something' for me from the Tuesday market. I will always see you showing off your new purchases for me - twirling like a model while I laughed and told you (in my best British accent) how amazing you looked.  I was assured of laughter from you, which thrilled me.  Every time I shop is Dolores I shall remember our trips and wonder if the economy is crumbling without your frequent trips.

I could go on and on.  I won’t.  Every life he touched has their very own Toller.  Each and every one of us were blessed to have known him.  I don’t think many people actually know how much Toller gave back to the world with absolutely no fan fare.  Just gave and moved on.  A more generous man I have not met in a very long time.

And so you left.  No fan fare.  No goodbyes.  No fuss.  Just quickly and quietly left this world like you might have left a party.  I turned around and you were gone.  I shall miss you forever and a day. 


 

Tribute to Toller Cranston ...

Toller Cranston, dear friend, mentor, confidant, my inspiration, my encouragement, my oak tree. We had a strong spiritual connection which I shall miss terribly. Toller was laid to rest today, here in San Miguel, surrounded by close friends and family. Tons of flowers and a mariachi band - he would have loved that. The one thing missing was Santa Clara ice cream. Never to be forgotten, larger than life, he knew exactly who he was and lived every minute to the fullest. He loved life, and yet, as in all of us, there was a very private side to Toller.  A protective shield.  I adored the new 'blue green' pallet he was working with - he wanted a challenge, to try something new - something where he didn't use his beloved ‘red'.  He wanted to 'shift gears'.  The new series is incredible. It's hard to say goodbye. We shall see each other again one day, Toller -- have your paint brush ready! In the meantime, I will be hearing your voice as I paint. I will be listening to the music we listened to and I will see you walking into the studio with paint on your pants and arms, carrying a 'little something' for me from the Tuesday market. I will always see you showing off your new jacket's for me - twirling like a model while I laughed and told you (in my best English accent) how amazing you looked. It could not have been a more beautiful day to say good bye. Sun shining, birds singing, the sky that incredible San Miguel blue. Farewell for now. You have left a large legacy and will be missed by many. My heart is broken - however I know it will heal in time. How honoured I am to have had you as such an integral part of my life. .... and the journey continues ....

"You Forgot Your Hat"

“You Forgot Your Hat” painting and poem by Donna Parker
January 27th, 2015, San Miguel de Allende


Alas!
So like you —
Suddenly, unexpectedly,
Shocking and shaking me
To the very core of my existence,
You left.
Not for a weekend
Or an extended getaway
Permanently!
Forever!
No warning
No good byes
No last words of wisdom
No kiss on the cheek -
You simply dropped dead!
Just like that.

You left me breathless
Where did the oxygen go?
Why was everything stuck in my throat?

You told me we had a sacred contract
I agreed
Was it really for only two years?
I didn’t read the fine print.

I will miss our conversations
About art, about spirit, about life
About our little secrets.
I will miss our energy
joined in the studio
painting, enjoying music, chatting,
dancing, laughing.

We loved each other
In the best possible way -
As friends - honouring
All the good bits
All the bad bits
All the in-between bits -

I know you are very close by
We have already spoken through
The oh so thin veil
A privilege I cherish.

I remember the first breakfast
Just the two of us
You bought two of my paintings
Asked me to paint with you in
Your studio.

When I left that day
You went back to the library
to get a book
It was Paulo Coelho’s,”The Alchemist”
I had read it years before
“Read it, Donna. It will tell you
everything you need to know”
I knew then our relationship
was much more than earthly.

Then just as suddenly
You were gone
quickly - quietly - forever.
Knowing you has changed
me Toller.
Oh!  … and Toller …
You Forgot Your Hat. 

"You Forgot Your Hat" oil on canvas by Donna Parker  Sold